Wednesday, April 07, 2004

Gay TV

As well as showing me the even sluttier version of BabeStation (best line: "ooh, Janice, that cucumber was really freezing!"), Lee has also introduced me to the dark, gay corner of his cable subscription.

Called something like Gay TV, it thankfully doesn't feature two men, a sofa and the filthy minds of the general public. Instead, it's simply a rolling advert for a subscription channel.

It features a man in swimming trunks with dead eyes intoning lifelessly: "Hi. I'm Darren Blaze. I'm here to offer you the passport to unimaginable gay pleasure."

His tone stays as flat and uninterested as someone behind the post office counter: "For only 4.99 you can enjoy an unlimited evening of the most beautiful men having the most extraordinary adventures."

Sudden blipvert of "the most beautiful men" (a bunch of podgy, spotty pale Latvuanians) having "the most extraordinary adventures" (rolling around on bedless mattresses in cheap hotels).

"Men like me are here to show you a world of gay pleasure. A whole evening of top class hunks available for a one-off payment of £4.99 that won't show up on your bill."

Hmmn. So your wife won't know that you've spent eight minutes of sweaty pleasure, furtiving yourself off to frankly rather hungry Eastern Europeans.

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