Wednesday, November 12, 2003

Publicists

Bonkers phone call from our publicist.

SOPHIE: Sweetheart, bike a DVD of Dr Who round to the Times would you?
ME: I can't. We only had one copy of DVD, and you've just had me send it round to the House of Commons.
SOPHIE: That is no good.
ME: I have a video copy.
SOPHIE: (drums fingers. Sighs) Video?
ME: Of the first three episodes.
SOPHIE: But I promised him all six!
ME: We're not due to take delivery of those until the end of the month.
SOPHIE: But. I. Promised. Him. All. Six.
ME: But can't you...?
SOPHIE: No. Look. Send him the video, I'll phone him up and lie.
ME: Can't he just review the first one? Like a TV review? That's all that's going out tomorrow.
SOPHIE: No. All Six. He must have all six.
ME: But TV reviews just review last night's TV, don't they? They don't review the next six weeks of EastEnders.
SOPHIE: Yes they do.

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